Saints, Scholars and Homer Simpson

Despite what you might guess from this quintessential souvenir of Ireland (can you believe it rolls a sheep, leprechaun and pot of gold all into one?), Ireland is known as the "land of saints and scholars." I'm sure this is true, after spending only four days there. But, I am equally sure that neither are involved in running RyanAir! The good thing that can be said of RyanAir is that they have transformed airfare competition in Europe much like Southwest Airlines did in America many years ago. Aside from ticket prices that are cheaper than the taxes and fees layered on, the only other good thing I can think to say is that the airplanes will take you to Ireland..

Where are the Saints and Scholars When You Need Them?

Unfortunately, RyanAir has taken the worst of Southwest's early business model and made it worse while Southwest has taken the best of their model and made it better! While Southwest has improved the efficiency, civility and manageability of their "no-assigned seats" boarding process by implementing an orderly numbering process based on when you check-in and, they remain now the only US airline that does NOT charge for checked baggage, RyanAir has taken the contrary approach. You pay as much for your suitcase to fly in cargo as you do for your own ticket.

The improvement to the chaotic boarding process is to sell "priority boarding" upgrades and then begin boarding the plane 30 minutes prior to scheduled boarding so that those with priority boarding, who don't happen to be at the gate a half hour before the posted boarding time have just donated their money to the RyanAir coffers for no reason (yes, I speak from experience!). And, whilst boarding, they pipe in over the PA system a speeded up version of Franz Liszt (the famous piano player who plays with uncommon speed and skill) to generate a sort of musical chairs - hurry or you'll get no seat at all - atmosphere made all the more chaotic by boarding the plane through both the front and the back doors.

Another observation, which admittedly may be coincidence, but... we have flown RyanAir three times in four years and to locations in three different countries. Each time, we have experienced what are the most turblulent and dicey landings in all our experience. Turbulent enough that each time, the passengers have broken into spontaneous applause as we landed safely. Coincidence?

Homer Simpson is My Co-Pilot

We landed at Kerry airport after 10:00 at night and were glad that the airport makes our old Cedar Rapids, Iowa airport look huge! After a long wait we got our rental car and headed out into the dark, wet night, driving on the left side of the road in our manual transmission Skoda with 95,000 kilometers on the odometer! Thankfully, Gary has some experience with this from travels in England, Australia and New Zealand. Nevertheless, it is an odd experience each time - not least for the person sitting in the left-side passenger seat who periodically feels she should be pressing the clutch pedal!

But, we had the "luck of the Irish" with us as Homer Simpson joined us on his maiden trip as our co-pilot! After re-programming our TomTom with a US map for my trip to Minnesota and then back again to the European map, Homer was added into the mix. Homer is always there when you need him! Not only is he smarter than one might have thought - being able to navigate the wilds of the County Kerry peninsulas even in the dark (most of the time), he was very good at providing comic entertainment with his voiced instructions. What could feel better than being told to "hold your head up high, you are a genius" for arriving at our destination - especially under the circumstances?

I mentioned in an earlier post that we had hoped to stumble upon what is probably the world's most remote chocolate factory and Homer was actually of no help in that endeavor, but we enjoyed truly spectacular scenery along the way in any case. And, that was the real point of the trip to the County Kerry anyway! The first day, we explored the Dingle peninsula along winding and windy roads and cliffs. We were particularly careful walking along these cliffs, but the view made it very tempting to get close enough to peer over!

We were able to explore a sampling of the abundant castles, tower houses and abandoned abbeys. We took a 15 minute ride in a boat to reach this abandoned abbey which included a small chapel with a Celtic cross over 1,000 years old that had been retrieved from the sea - probably having been tossed into the sea during an ancient Viking raid. These Irish outposts suffered a number of Viking raids during their early history.

We are now traveling with just two kids and, the dynamics have shifted - while Ethan and Audrey are rediscovering they can be good buddies, Ethan's previous protector role has changed slightly as this photo, snapped of what has become their more typical relationship, shows.

A Test of Bravery?

We spent the evening at a pub enjoying traditional Irish music and dancing. It was a somewhat touristy affair but I enjoy Irish music and dancing in almost any setting! We were seated next to another American couple living in Germany. He is a First Sargeant in the US Army and was going to deploy for his third year-long tour in Afghanistan. He unknowingly gave Gary a great compliment on his "bravery:" This First Sargeant told us about his role as the leader of troops who clear mines and IEDs , treating it relatively casually as "all in a day's work." Later in the conversation, he responded in horror at the fact that we were driving a rental car in Ireland. He told Gary that he would be scared to death to drive. Quite a high bar for "scary" coming from a man who is about to spend his third year in Afghanistan clearing IEDs! It goes to show the level of training and competence the Army develops in the men and women who serve, that he would be more confident in that role than driving on the left side of the road. We wish our friend for the evening God's Speed. We will keep all of them in our prayers and only hope that the coming year brings nothing more scary than driving on the left side of the road for them.

Here's just a hint about why driving can be a bit nerve-wracking in Ireland. It seems impossible to believe, but they are more cavalier about speeds than the Germans. At least the Germans limit their recklessness to the smooth, well-maintained Autobahns. In Ireland, with the exception of the immediate approach to Dublin, the national roads are all about 1 1/2 lanes wide, have no shoulders -in fact, berms are built right up to the side of the road, leaving about a 6" distance between the berm and your car - they are winding more often than they are straight and, the speed limit is always 100 kilometers per hour (about 65 mph). This pair of signs above say it all perfectly!

The next morning included a trip to Trinity College to see the Book of Kells and a walking tour around the historic downtown Dublin. Mostly, we scoped out what we still want to see and do on a future trip. In addition to visiting Skellig Michael, which stormy weather and rough seas prevented while staying at Kilarney in County Kerry, at the top of the list in Dublin is this newly opened museum (if you can't read the sign - it is for the Leprechaun Museum!).

Thankfully, the best and least expensive flight back from Dublin was on Ireland's other airline, Aerlingus. As you can see, Audrey was anticipating (and was rewarded with) a much better experience!