Since we're having a few chuckles at the expense of the Germans and German language, this is worth sharing. Thanks, Rick for forwarding this important news item to me!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl!
Okay... I promise, no more picking on Germans for awhile... I will overwhelm you all with the endless good things there are here... and there are a lot!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Ridiculous? Nein, naturlich nicht!
This example of my remarkable cultural flexibility came so quickly on the heels of my last posting, which I’ll admit had some fun at the expense of German culture, that I have to share it!
First, the brief background – I am taking a German class for parents at the kids’ school in addition to having a German tutor a few times a week (I fear it will take this much repetition and work to help make any strides in a new language – I am making modest progress, however!). The Upper School (9 – 12th) kids and the parents are using the same book.
First, the brief background – I am taking a German class for parents at the kids’ school in addition to having a German tutor a few times a week (I fear it will take this much repetition and work to help make any strides in a new language – I am making modest progress, however!). The Upper School (9 – 12th) kids and the parents are using the same book.
Today in class, we started Lesson 4. There are 10 lessons in the beginning book we are using. This book series is designed to focus on important, everyday German language skills. Good idea. So, I have to share the pages from part of today’s lesson. Remind yourself that the Upper School kids are making quicker progress than the parents because we only meet once a week. My daughter must have had this lesson within the first month of school (I'll have to ask her when she gets home this afternoon!).
So, you ask, how does a German lesson demonstrate my cultural flexibility?? Well… my reaction to this was simply to chuckle and think to myself: “well, they’ve sure got their priorities straight, don’t they?!” It didn't even occur to me to respond with a call to the school to ask what they are thinking as no doubt would have crossed my mind had Zionsville High School taught the same lesson...
For those of you who do not speak German, the rough translation of introduction at the top of the page is something along these lines:
What to the Germans gladly drink? They love coffee and drink an average of 190 liters per year. They also like fresh juices and mineral water and drink about 160 liters per year. And then, naturally, Beer. They drink 150 liters per person per year.
In Germany there are many types of beer and they are all good. Beer drinkers will have their favorite type of beer and their favorite brands.
Which important beer types do you know? None? Well, learn well from this beer lexicon.
The second page, below, is an audio quiz. We had to listen to the conversation and determine which picture of the people drinking different sorts of beer, wine and champagne matched with the conversation!
The second page, below, is an audio quiz. We had to listen to the conversation and determine which picture of the people drinking different sorts of beer, wine and champagne matched with the conversation!
You can see now the importance of learning German, right?! And, thank goodness the schools have texts designed to teach these things to the kids – after all, where else would they learn them correctly?
Prost!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Good, the Bad and the .... Ridiculous
Well, at risk of being thought culturally insensitive, the time has come to share some of my thoughts on life in German society! Perhaps it is the contrarian in me that explains both my perspective and my willingness to risk the “politically incorrect” label, but I just can’t help sharing some of these observations!
Of course I am much too nuanced in my view of the world than to think that things are ever so simple as to be completely good or completely bad. However, some things really are completely ridiculous.
Family Time
I have thoroughly enjoyed the fact that all three kids’ school activities always end before dinner time – dinner time here being around 7:30p. This means that we have family dinners virtually every night. This was unheard of more than once or twice during the school week for the past five years. While we encouraged and supported the Molly’s synchronized swimming, Ethan’s tennis and basketball and Audrey’s various after-school clubs and tennis lessons, the activities invariably began or ended right during mealtime. That meant I was busy racking up those 160,000 miles on the van right during dinner prep and/or dinner eating time.
So, you may ask – what’s the little bit of “bad” about this happy development? Well… truth be told, it means I have to come up with “real” dinners five or six times a week! And, dinners that can easily be cooked or baked in my doll-size appliances! Good news is that I do have a six burner stove – gas and induction burners.
Further good news is that we brought our pasta machine with us and actually have time to do things like make homemade pasta for dinner! Audrey is my kitchen buddy and makes cooking so much more fun. She even takes over sometimes – even more fun for me!
Rest assured, we are treasuring these dinners together, especially because Molly will be off to college next year. It is nice to have this year without quite such a crazy pace.
Halloween
We really didn’t know what to expect on Halloween. I noticed the Woolworth store (yes, Woolworth’s is alive and well over here!) had racks of costumes, a fair amount of American candy in larger bags than usual and a small but noticeable presence of Halloween home décor for sale. But, Germans couldn’t give us a consistent answer about Trick-or-Treat. Is it done or not?
Our kids decided to wait it out this year, worried they’d get decked out in costumes only to have people answer their doors in confusion. But, just in case, I bought a small supply of candy and we carved our pumpkin as we always do. We put the pumpkin out on the front porch and waited…
We were rewarded with three groups of trick-or-treaters. The first was two small boys with their grandma dressed as: two small boys with their grandma-- carrying trick-or-treat bags! The second group was four kids in sheets – at least they got in the “spirit” of things with good ghost costumes. The last group was a gaggle of pre-teen girls all dressed in identical Dracula costumes. Go Figure.
So, we had the distinction of having the best (and only) Jack-o-Lantern in the neighborhood - that’s good. But, we had more candy left over than one would hope – that’s bad. And, Halloween appears to be a holiday caught betwixt and between two cultures, which means it winds up as at least partly ridiculous!
Driving in Germany
You’ve all been waiting for this one, I know. Well, I must report it is not all speed and autobahn excitement. In fact, most of the entirely ridiculous we have encountered thus far relates to driving! Where to begin?
Gary and I have both learned there are very few stretches of road that truly have no speed limit. Sorry to disillusion any of you that thought otherwise. In fact, the Germans have applied their notorious enthusiasm for rules and precision very nicely to speed limit infractions. Gary learned this first when a scowling photo of him arrived by mail to his boss this summer.
Sure enough, his picture was snapped by a camera mounted on an overpass, the shutter triggered by his infraction of two kilometers over the speed limit. Some “cultural” translation for those of you not conversant in the metric system – that is just barely 1 mile per hour over the speed limit. The cost of the fine – 15 Euro. The cost to implement this penalty – probably at least 20 Euro in camera/computer equipment, processing, postage and collection expenses. This is entirely ridiculous!
Because he was so thoughtful in breaking this ground ahead of me, I was not so sheepish as I might have been when I had to warn Gary that a photo of me, equally “happy” at having my portrait taken, would be arriving in his boss’s mailbox soon. (It goes to his boss because I am driving a car leased in Lilly’s name…) This, no doubt, startled portrait of me was snapped as I was getting ready to merge onto the autobahn. Who puts a speed trap at the point of entering a merge lane to the autobahn? Again, ridiculous!
So, you may be wondering – how fast do people drive over here? Well, the answer to that I now know, depends on whether you are driving on your summer or your winter tires. “Winter tires?” you ask. Yep, I hadn’t heard of or thought about winter tires since my childhood in Wisconsin when my dad always hoped he’d get the snow tires on before the first big snowfall. Since the advent of those thoroughly new-fangled things called All-Weather tires, no one buys snow tires any more unless they live in far snowier climes than the Midwest.
So, a short digression…
In their ever-passionate search for more rules and regulations, they have passed a new law requiring snow tires after November 1. In fact, as extra incentive to be sure that you follow the law, your car insurance will not pay a claim for any car accident you have after November 1 if your winter tires are not on the car. Doesn’t matter what the circumstances of the accident are or whether your driving was at fault.
In fact, the Polizei will also determine the accident to be your fault regardless of circumstance if your car is without its winter tires… powerful incentive, to be sure. But, entirely ridiculous when the majority of Germany has winter weather like Indiana. Of course, one would be well advised to put chains on the tires if driving in the mountains but… mandatory winter tires regardless of location? Enough said.
So, back to the question of speed. We had our winter tires put on the cars last week. When my car was returned to me there was a sticker displayed prominently on the dashboard – in German of course. I made a point to learn what it said as it appeared to be a warning of some sort. Yes, one more rule to add to the list. Fortunately, this one is easy to comply with: under NO circumstances am I to drive faster than 210 kilometers per hour on my winter tires. That is 131 miles per hour! In a station wagon, on snowy or icy roads?? Hmmm…..okay, I guess I could slow down, just a little … Ridiculous!
So there’s the answer. How fast do people drive over here? Less than 131 mph, IF it is winter. I’ll let you know come April how fast they drive in the Spring!
Tschuss!
Of course I am much too nuanced in my view of the world than to think that things are ever so simple as to be completely good or completely bad. However, some things really are completely ridiculous.
Family Time
I have thoroughly enjoyed the fact that all three kids’ school activities always end before dinner time – dinner time here being around 7:30p. This means that we have family dinners virtually every night. This was unheard of more than once or twice during the school week for the past five years. While we encouraged and supported the Molly’s synchronized swimming, Ethan’s tennis and basketball and Audrey’s various after-school clubs and tennis lessons, the activities invariably began or ended right during mealtime. That meant I was busy racking up those 160,000 miles on the van right during dinner prep and/or dinner eating time.
So, you may ask – what’s the little bit of “bad” about this happy development? Well… truth be told, it means I have to come up with “real” dinners five or six times a week! And, dinners that can easily be cooked or baked in my doll-size appliances! Good news is that I do have a six burner stove – gas and induction burners.
Further good news is that we brought our pasta machine with us and actually have time to do things like make homemade pasta for dinner! Audrey is my kitchen buddy and makes cooking so much more fun. She even takes over sometimes – even more fun for me!
Rest assured, we are treasuring these dinners together, especially because Molly will be off to college next year. It is nice to have this year without quite such a crazy pace.
Halloween
We really didn’t know what to expect on Halloween. I noticed the Woolworth store (yes, Woolworth’s is alive and well over here!) had racks of costumes, a fair amount of American candy in larger bags than usual and a small but noticeable presence of Halloween home décor for sale. But, Germans couldn’t give us a consistent answer about Trick-or-Treat. Is it done or not?
Our kids decided to wait it out this year, worried they’d get decked out in costumes only to have people answer their doors in confusion. But, just in case, I bought a small supply of candy and we carved our pumpkin as we always do. We put the pumpkin out on the front porch and waited…
We were rewarded with three groups of trick-or-treaters. The first was two small boys with their grandma dressed as: two small boys with their grandma-- carrying trick-or-treat bags! The second group was four kids in sheets – at least they got in the “spirit” of things with good ghost costumes. The last group was a gaggle of pre-teen girls all dressed in identical Dracula costumes. Go Figure.
So, we had the distinction of having the best (and only) Jack-o-Lantern in the neighborhood - that’s good. But, we had more candy left over than one would hope – that’s bad. And, Halloween appears to be a holiday caught betwixt and between two cultures, which means it winds up as at least partly ridiculous!
Driving in Germany
You’ve all been waiting for this one, I know. Well, I must report it is not all speed and autobahn excitement. In fact, most of the entirely ridiculous we have encountered thus far relates to driving! Where to begin?
Gary and I have both learned there are very few stretches of road that truly have no speed limit. Sorry to disillusion any of you that thought otherwise. In fact, the Germans have applied their notorious enthusiasm for rules and precision very nicely to speed limit infractions. Gary learned this first when a scowling photo of him arrived by mail to his boss this summer.
Sure enough, his picture was snapped by a camera mounted on an overpass, the shutter triggered by his infraction of two kilometers over the speed limit. Some “cultural” translation for those of you not conversant in the metric system – that is just barely 1 mile per hour over the speed limit. The cost of the fine – 15 Euro. The cost to implement this penalty – probably at least 20 Euro in camera/computer equipment, processing, postage and collection expenses. This is entirely ridiculous!
Because he was so thoughtful in breaking this ground ahead of me, I was not so sheepish as I might have been when I had to warn Gary that a photo of me, equally “happy” at having my portrait taken, would be arriving in his boss’s mailbox soon. (It goes to his boss because I am driving a car leased in Lilly’s name…) This, no doubt, startled portrait of me was snapped as I was getting ready to merge onto the autobahn. Who puts a speed trap at the point of entering a merge lane to the autobahn? Again, ridiculous!
So, you may be wondering – how fast do people drive over here? Well, the answer to that I now know, depends on whether you are driving on your summer or your winter tires. “Winter tires?” you ask. Yep, I hadn’t heard of or thought about winter tires since my childhood in Wisconsin when my dad always hoped he’d get the snow tires on before the first big snowfall. Since the advent of those thoroughly new-fangled things called All-Weather tires, no one buys snow tires any more unless they live in far snowier climes than the Midwest.
So, a short digression…
In their ever-passionate search for more rules and regulations, they have passed a new law requiring snow tires after November 1. In fact, as extra incentive to be sure that you follow the law, your car insurance will not pay a claim for any car accident you have after November 1 if your winter tires are not on the car. Doesn’t matter what the circumstances of the accident are or whether your driving was at fault.
In fact, the Polizei will also determine the accident to be your fault regardless of circumstance if your car is without its winter tires… powerful incentive, to be sure. But, entirely ridiculous when the majority of Germany has winter weather like Indiana. Of course, one would be well advised to put chains on the tires if driving in the mountains but… mandatory winter tires regardless of location? Enough said.
So, back to the question of speed. We had our winter tires put on the cars last week. When my car was returned to me there was a sticker displayed prominently on the dashboard – in German of course. I made a point to learn what it said as it appeared to be a warning of some sort. Yes, one more rule to add to the list. Fortunately, this one is easy to comply with: under NO circumstances am I to drive faster than 210 kilometers per hour on my winter tires. That is 131 miles per hour! In a station wagon, on snowy or icy roads?? Hmmm…..okay, I guess I could slow down, just a little … Ridiculous!
So there’s the answer. How fast do people drive over here? Less than 131 mph, IF it is winter. I’ll let you know come April how fast they drive in the Spring!
Tschuss!
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