Since we're having a few chuckles at the expense of the Germans and German language, this is worth sharing. Thanks, Rick for forwarding this important news item to me!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl!
Okay... I promise, no more picking on Germans for awhile... I will overwhelm you all with the endless good things there are here... and there are a lot!
Hov vuld zis vork? Vat vuld my nam sund lik? hm... Audry... hm... not that diferent... Vat wuld yurs sund lik... hm... Kristin... yah, no diferent! Vis is practicaly wat Ezan does on Runescap. But wors. Vis vuld not vork vis is hov it shuld alvays be: Who came up with this anyway? Did they even think it through before they suggested it. Imagine typing if this were the truth. WOW!If this were the language spoken here, then Europe would not be a "United Europe" it would just be a confused continent which spoke a language no one else has learned. Roseta Stone would have to add a new language Uro- English. I hope this never happens, even if it would sound like German, and I guess we would be fluent, we would have to go through anything we wrote with a list of the rules. The only fun part would be saying the with a french accent, ze ze ze ze ze ze ze! yah!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, yah, okay, so, yah