Mozart was the First Clue ...and, yes, he is a bobblehead!

I gave a clue in my last post for our next round of Where in the World Were the Geipels Last Weekend? Here are some more: Coffee, Lipizzaner Stallions, Sisi, Coffee, Opera, Coffee, Ballet, St. Stephen’s Dome, Coffee, waltzes,Cafes, Coffee… Yep, you are right to detect a theme. That theme is your biggest hint…. We were in Vienna – the city with a rich history of, among other very notable things, Cafes and coffee drinking.

The cafes were the heart of the important art, music, writing and philosophical movements to come out of Vienna’s history. What’s not to love about a history built in Cafes over cups of kaffeemilche?

The cafes are marvelous on several counts:

1. They are cavernous in size but not appearance. They have beautiful, bright chandeliers and two-story windows letting in every ray of light possible, even on the wintry, grey days in Austria and Germany,

2. Buying one cup of espresso allows you to sit, undisturbed, at your table for as many hours as you want and, because of the sheer size of the cafes (see #1 above!), this is possible without inconveniencing other people who want a table as well,

3. They serve fantastic food in perfect proportions (what in America is becoming the new “small-plated meal” trend - a sorely needed trend for many reasons, which I won’t digress into here). Of course, the “perfect proportions” are also mentioned in the context of the wonderful desserts also available!

4. They make a perfect stopping place for caffeine, heisse schokolade, and sustenance breaks in a city that demands it be a “walking city” even on wintry days..

Oopsie Daisy
We left for Vienna on the day that the “storm of the century” was predicted to hit Europe. This storm was even named like a Hurricane is named: the “low pressure system, Daisy” and it made the top of the fold headlines on the major papers in Europe. Over two feet of snow predicted – both in Germany and in Austria – along with bitter cold temperatures. Our plane took off on time but was one of the last to do so. Frankfurt airport spent the next 24 hours over-run with passengers as many flights were delayed or cancelled. But, the snow accumulation was about 4 inches, not 24! Daisy fizzled.

And, in the kids’ estimation, she fizzled BIG TIME! We had our long johns, our boots, our parkas, hats and mittens. We were ready to tromp around Vienna in two feet of snow and actually looking forward to it! As it turned out, the temperature hovered just above freezing and we spent Saturday splashing through slushy puddles rather than climbing through snowbanks. Had we planned a trip to London, we would have had our snow – they spent the week literally buried in the most snow they’ve had in decades.

How do they do that?
The Lippizaner "dancing" stallions are world famous and trained only here in Vienna. We watched them train on Saturday morning. Such “stables” you’ve never seen. No pictures were allowed but, imagine a glamorous ballroom from the 18th Century – candle chandeliers, beautiful plasterwork, murals painted by famous artists, beautiful waltz music, all the glamour of the ballrooms of that time. Except…. The floor is not tile or wood, it is mulch! This is the practice domain of the Lippizaners. Amazing to watch the training for just an hour or two. It takes six years of training before a horse performs.

We particularly enjoyed watching the stallions as about 10 years ago, when we still lived in Iowa, we had tickets to a Lippizaner Show (they travel the world doing performances) and missed it because we thought it was on a Sunday only to pull out our tickets and find it had been on Saturday! A mistake we still remember well because of the price of the tickets…

Molly and Audrey went with Gary that evening to the Nutcracker ballet at the Opera House. Yet another occasion to wonder “how do they do that?” as the girls marveled at the skill of the very young ballerinas, no older than 10 or 12.

Why do they do that?
We never intended to start this theme for our travels, it was sort of thrust upon us: interesting toilets and bathrooms! I know, it’s right up there with tacky souvenirs… when you travel with the Geipels, will show you a first-class experience!

But, this cries out to be documented and chuckled at: the picture here shows the public toilet in a pedestrian underpass that includes food stores, souvenir shops, etc. The picture does not do this “Opera Toilet mit Musik” justice. As you walk through the turnstile, you see the gilded opera balconies painted with patrons, the ornate toilet stalls, and – of course- the opera and waltz music at full volume!

Later in the day, we had a mid-day meal at the very nice, Art Nouveau-themed café. Audrey returned from the restroom, grabbed the camera and left again. The sink was very cool. Bubbling up from the steel grate is the water to wash your hands. Too find a “bubbler” here and for this purpose was almost too much for Audrey. She is a dedicated water-drinker throughout the day and bemoans frequently the lack of water fountains (known to Milwaukeeans and children of a Milwaukeean as “bubblers”) in public, at school, etc.

Where else but Vienna can you have fun just going to the bathroom?!

Please, don’t do that!
Of course, you can’t help but go to Vienna and engage in some cultured activities as well. We were stunned with the history, ornateness and extravagance of the Shonbrunn palace (home of the Hapsburg empire), St. Stephen’s cathedral, listening to the Vienna Boys Choir at a Sunday Mass and “experiencing” the Belvedere.

The Belvedere deserves special mention. We were eager to see the art housed there – some Klimt (turned out to be my particular favorite) Schiele, a few Monet and Manet. We arrived and went upstairs to start the tour – both a tour of the palace (turned museum) and the art now displayed. We first entered a large ballroom with beautiful view to the gardens. A hand-printed sign on an easel greeted us and, in four different languages, invited us to yell as loud as we could!

Well, our family along with every other family with children thought: “perfect, we’ll get it out of their systems before we enter the art galleries.” Loud yells made the lights dim dramatically and a loud recording of heavy, scary breathing emanate throughout the room. Hmmm…

Molly was not well pleased. She was distracted the whole time with the yelling that could be heard regularly throughout the museum as we wandered and couldn’t stop registering her displeasure. We read in a brochure later, this was not after all a strategy to get the wiggles and boredom out of young children. It was a temporary exhibit of “work of modern art.” All I can say is at least it wasn’t offensive as much of the “modern art” we have unintentionally stumbled upon has been!

We soon stumbled upon further proof that there is something for everyone at the Belvedere, several dozen of these sculptures, Messerschmidt’s “canonical grimaces,” are on display and truly fun to wander around:

For more: http://www.johncoulthart.com/feuilleton/2006/06/23/the-art-of-franz-xavier-messerschmidt-1736-1783/

So, we returned home with good memories and perhaps the best tacky souvenir yet (a bobblehead, after all, must reign King of the Tacky Souvenirs!). And, the airport in Frankfurt was back on schedule, minimal snow to shovel and at least a little enthusiasm for returning to school after a three-week break!

Are the Roads Safe?

The answer is now officially “yes” in the Konigstein im Taunus region. That is, if I am driving! This morning I passed my German driver’s exam after investing over 40 hours in studying – 39 hours of which were well and truly necessary. The answer to the question is a resounding “maybe” if Gary is driving…

Gary took the test before Christmas after only about 10 hours of studying and, predictably (at least as predicted by all the Germans who weighed in on the topic), he failed the test by answering wrong 3 of the 30 questions, drawn from a pool of 950 possible questions.

Yes, that’s right: there is a pool of 950 questions, which appear to have been written in the 1970’s and not changed since then (judging by the accompanying pictures which show teenage boys in short shorts and tube socks up to their knees, among other things!) that are the basis for the exam.

The studying for this exam consists of being handed the 950 questions in an electronic “flash card” form by a driving school and told “Memorize them all. Oh, and Good Luck!” No manual or text book to study from first.

Yep, the driving school provides the bureaucratic support to file all our paperwork, is the only source through which we can purchase the study materials and collects about 250 Euro but, no, they don’t teach us anything to prepare for the exam…

So, the first 20 hours of study involves going through the “flash cards” on the computer and guessing at the answers. Once you get them wrong, you get to see what the actual knowledge is you are being tested on. So, for calculation questions – no formulas are provided, just the right answer. So, you get the pleasure of applying what high school math you can still dredge up and working backwards from the right answer to a speculative formula.

That speculative formula is put to the test when the next question that asks you to calculate the braking distance in good weather when you are traveling at 95 km/h or, traveling at 70 km/h when the roads are wet and you are simultaneously taking evasive action.. Not even that masterful pre-calculus teacher, Kanu Patel, renowned at Greendale High School, could have helped me with that one!

Then, there are multiple choice questions of the worst kind – one answer or all three answers may be correct. And, past driving experience or common sense play no role whatsoever in the process. Here’s an example:

A picture shows the typical road sign that warns of deer crossing the road. The question is what you must reckon with:

a. the possibility that a game animal may enter the road and freeze in your headlights
b. the possibility that stragglers of the herd may follow after a deer has crossed your path
c. a soiled roadway

Okay, “a” and “b” were pretty clear, right? But, “c” is, in fact, also one of the right answers. And, NO credit if you only chose “a” and “b.”

How many of you have ever swerved, lost control of your car or otherwise endangered yourselves or others because of deer droppings (the cause of the “soiled” roadway) on the road? Hmm… me either.

But, at least there are no moose in Germany. In Newfoundland, where this sign is from, things can apparently get far worse than roads soiled with droppings.

Of course, this whole driver’s license process provided yet another opportunity to give a nod to our illustrious relocation “consultants!” See earlier posts if you don’t recognize this as sarcasm…

I had to turn to the internet during my studies to look up the different categories of German driver’s licenses so I knew for which one I was to study. Lo and behold, I quickly stumbled upon several websites dedicated to Americans who need to get a German driver’s license. These sites were largely from very reliable sources (i.e. not just blogs!) – the American/German Chamber of Commerce and the US Embassy, included.

Very clearly noted was the fact that Americans living in the state of Hessen (where we are), among other states, and who work for an American company, are EXEMPT from taking the driving exam. They may simply transfer their driver’s license as a special exemption. So, Gary is off the hook!! Spouses, no.

A “friendly” e-mail from me to our consultant and a flurry of activity is set in motion. Gary’s application to re-take his exam is withdrawn, papers are submitted, driving record is downloaded from Governor Mitch Daniel’s new, very slick Bureau of Motor Vehicles website and….no apology or “oops!” is offered. Just – “oh, good luck for Gary, we’ll get the special exemption started.” Thanks, relocation experts. Glad you’re on our team.

How about the three hundred Euros we’ve spent on his study materials, the hours of studying, the trip during the work week to the driving exam office, etc. all which could have been avoided 6 months ago??

At least Gary appreciated my efforts! And, he kindly accompanied me to the driving exam this morning as moral support (and, I’m sure with glee in his heart that he was just there to sit in the waiting room!).

So, I ask you again – are the roads safe? Well, when, I, with my Ph.D-equivalent in German driving rules, am driving? Pretty safe. When Gary with his “hey, I’m on athletic scholarship" waiver-equivalent is driving? Actually, pretty safe. I’ve warned him about the deer droppings!

On a lighter note, in the next posting we’ll play another round of “Where in the World were the Geipels last Weekend?” Here’s an advanced hint, the newest addition to the Tacky Souvenir Collection: