Merry Christmas!

Like many of you at home, we are being treated to the promise of a White Christmas over here… unless it gets too warm today. The forecast says 40+ degrees but, we are learning that there is some distance between the forecasters here and the over-zealous, 24/7, “accu-radar”-watching weather people in Indiana! Our forecasts are sometimes less than “spot on!” In their defense, the significant changes in altitude within a metropolitan area probably make it a bit trickier for the German weathermen!

The First Delay

We planned to leave this past Friday for a weekend trip to Brugge, Belgium to take in the famous Christmas Market and other sites and experiences (i.e. Food!). We were foiled in our attempt. After sitting still on the Autobahn for over an hour in the midst of a snowy “25 kilometer Stau,” we decided the wise thing was to reverse course and return home to leave in the morning instead. Ethan was pleased as he was able to attend a party that he otherwise was going to miss.

Incidentally, “Stau” was the first practical German word I learned… it means traffic jam! And, it is only rarely because of too many cars on the road but almost always because of a car wreck. They are notorious for multi-car pile-ups over here in the winter.

And, guess what? We know why.

As we returned home from our trip through the Netherlands and Belgium, crossing the German border, the difference in driving philosophy was palpable. Though the autobahn was mostly clear of snow, except for the shoulders, the roads were still quite wet and the temperature was about 28 degrees (Farenheit), the sun already set at 5:00pm. And, though we were traveling at about 120 km/hour as was much of the traffic, we still were regularly stunned by cars passing us at 160 km/hour (99 mph) or faster.. You got that right – its dark, the roads are wet and the temperature is 4 -5 degrees below freezing… any questions now about why so many “Stau” on the roads over here?

Anyway – Saturday morning was clear and sunny albeit only about 5 degrees F. So cold that the windshield wiper fluid appeared to be frozen in everyone’s cars, including ours, of course. Each rest stop was a virtual parking lot and the gas stations all had buckets of warm water and window washing squeegies so people could clear their salt/slush splattered windshields. And, there was a run on the supplies of windshield washer fluid, bringing out the interesting hoarding mentality of the German personality... Gary asked a fellow customer (with no less than 6 one-liter bottles of fluid in his arms) where to find the bottles. The response - "I got the last ones." In fact, when Gary turned around, there was a big box of the fluid. As he stood in line, the customer in front of him refused to answer when someone asked him where the bottles were. Gary pointed them out, having just been the victim of this same mentality - "I've got mine and I'm not telling..." What is that about?? Nevertheless, we made the right choice to wait and leave the next morning.

The Most Visited Town in Europe

At least according to one of our waiters. If it is not, it surely should be at the top of all visitors' lists of places to spend a few days...Brugge is a delightful town. We bundled up and walked to the Christmas market and all around the old city despite the cold. On Sunday morning we were treated to a gorgeous snowfall, adding a fresh layer of snow to what had fallen the night before. Ethan earned his civic volunteer hours by leaving small snowmen perched on the lids of trash containers all over the city and Audrey built up the largest snowball ever during our walk. When it got too heavy, it made the perfect base for a snowman – another donation to the public Christmas displays!

Given the cold – unseasonable even for winter here – we were a bit surprised to find an unusual holiday tradition in Brugge. We were first alerted to something unusual by the three tents set up next to four parked ambulances right next to the canal. The crowd peering over the bridge was further evidence that something interesting was happening. Lo and behold – the Belgian version of the Polar Bear Swim was taking place. But, they don’t just have a crowd run into the water and run as quickly back out as I am familiar with in Door County and Milwaukee. Nope, here they went in several swimmers at a time – all in various “costumes” and with short skits preceding their dive into the freezing canal. Mind you, portions of the canal were actually frozen over! These people were certifiable!

You may know that Belgium is known for its chocolate, pommes frites (the classy word for French fries!) and lace. The lace didn’t pique our interest so much but, the chocolate and frites sure did! Let me assure you that their expertise in chocolate making (50 chocolate shops in Brugge alone – each offering beautifully handmade chocolate) extends to making fantastic hot chocolate – just the thing to warm up every few hours when spending the day walking the city in freezing temperatures! And, every little tea house and café offers a roaring fire in the fireplace. Charming.

The Christmas Market was a bit more carnival/fair-like than I anticipated. But, there is no doubt that the lighting display at night makes a very festive atmosphere.

The Second Delay

Brugge also has a renowned ice carving display. This year the theme was Ice Age 3 (the movie..). We were of a mixed mind about going to the exhibit. The ice carving is known to be quite intricate and impressive but, we are not big fans of the Ice Age movies. Fortunately, we decided to delay the planned Sunday afternoon visit until Monday morning before we left town. The owner of the small inn where we stayed told me at breakfast Monday that the exhibit was closed – explaining that on Sunday afternoon the tent over the exhibit had collapsed due to the weight of the snow! Imagine a much smaller version of the RCA dome in Indy slowly collapsing! The good news is that no one was hurt. Apparently, the ice sculptures themselves held the tent up long enough for everyone inside to escape. Perhaps next year’s ice sculpture theme will interest us more and the tent will be sturdier!

So, we are home now until the day after Christmas. We will fly to Indiana for the week between Christmas and New Year’s and look forward to seeing family and good friends. We wish all of you the merriest of Christmases and all the best in 2010!

Sprechen sie Englisch?

Since we're having a few chuckles at the expense of the Germans and German language, this is worth sharing. Thanks, Rick for forwarding this important news item to me!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl!

Okay... I promise, no more picking on Germans for awhile... I will overwhelm you all with the endless good things there are here... and there are a lot!

Ridiculous? Nein, naturlich nicht!

This example of my remarkable cultural flexibility came so quickly on the heels of my last posting, which I’ll admit had some fun at the expense of German culture, that I have to share it!

First, the brief background – I am taking a German class for parents at the kids’ school in addition to having a German tutor a few times a week (I fear it will take this much repetition and work to help make any strides in a new language – I am making modest progress, however!). The Upper School (9 – 12th) kids and the parents are using the same book.

Today in class, we started Lesson 4. There are 10 lessons in the beginning book we are using. This book series is designed to focus on important, everyday German language skills. Good idea. So, I have to share the pages from part of today’s lesson. Remind yourself that the Upper School kids are making quicker progress than the parents because we only meet once a week. My daughter must have had this lesson within the first month of school (I'll have to ask her when she gets home this afternoon!).

So, you ask, how does a German lesson demonstrate my cultural flexibility?? Well… my reaction to this was simply to chuckle and think to myself: “well, they’ve sure got their priorities straight, don’t they?!” It didn't even occur to me to respond with a call to the school to ask what they are thinking as no doubt would have crossed my mind had Zionsville High School taught the same lesson...

For those of you who do not speak German, the rough translation of introduction at the top of the page is something along these lines:

What to the Germans gladly drink? They love coffee and drink an average of 190 liters per year. They also like fresh juices and mineral water and drink about 160 liters per year. And then, naturally, Beer. They drink 150 liters per person per year.

In Germany there are many types of beer and they are all good. Beer drinkers will have their favorite type of beer and their favorite brands.

Which important beer types do you know? None? Well, learn well from this beer lexicon.
The second page, below, is an audio quiz. We had to listen to the conversation and determine which picture of the people drinking different sorts of beer, wine and champagne matched with the conversation!

You can see now the importance of learning German, right?! And, thank goodness the schools have texts designed to teach these things to the kids – after all, where else would they learn them correctly?

Prost!

The Good, the Bad and the .... Ridiculous

Well, at risk of being thought culturally insensitive, the time has come to share some of my thoughts on life in German society! Perhaps it is the contrarian in me that explains both my perspective and my willingness to risk the “politically incorrect” label, but I just can’t help sharing some of these observations!

Of course I am much too nuanced in my view of the world than to think that things are ever so simple as to be completely good or completely bad. However, some things really are completely ridiculous.

Family Time

I have thoroughly enjoyed the fact that all three kids’ school activities always end before dinner time – dinner time here being around 7:30p. This means that we have family dinners virtually every night. This was unheard of more than once or twice during the school week for the past five years. While we encouraged and supported the Molly’s synchronized swimming, Ethan’s tennis and basketball and Audrey’s various after-school clubs and tennis lessons, the activities invariably began or ended right during mealtime. That meant I was busy racking up those 160,000 miles on the van right during dinner prep and/or dinner eating time.

So, you may ask – what’s the little bit of “bad” about this happy development? Well… truth be told, it means I have to come up with “real” dinners five or six times a week! And, dinners that can easily be cooked or baked in my doll-size appliances! Good news is that I do have a six burner stove – gas and induction burners.

Further good news is that we brought our pasta machine with us and actually have time to do things like make homemade pasta for dinner! Audrey is my kitchen buddy and makes cooking so much more fun. She even takes over sometimes – even more fun for me!







Rest assured, we are treasuring these dinners together, especially because Molly will be off to college next year. It is nice to have this year without quite such a crazy pace.

Halloween

We really didn’t know what to expect on Halloween. I noticed the Woolworth store (yes, Woolworth’s is alive and well over here!) had racks of costumes, a fair amount of American candy in larger bags than usual and a small but noticeable presence of Halloween home décor for sale. But, Germans couldn’t give us a consistent answer about Trick-or-Treat. Is it done or not?

Our kids decided to wait it out this year, worried they’d get decked out in costumes only to have people answer their doors in confusion. But, just in case, I bought a small supply of candy and we carved our pumpkin as we always do. We put the pumpkin out on the front porch and waited…

We were rewarded with three groups of trick-or-treaters. The first was two small boys with their grandma dressed as: two small boys with their grandma-- carrying trick-or-treat bags! The second group was four kids in sheets – at least they got in the “spirit” of things with good ghost costumes. The last group was a gaggle of pre-teen girls all dressed in identical Dracula costumes. Go Figure.

So, we had the distinction of having the best (and only) Jack-o-Lantern in the neighborhood - that’s good. But, we had more candy left over than one would hope – that’s bad. And, Halloween appears to be a holiday caught betwixt and between two cultures, which means it winds up as at least partly ridiculous!










Driving in Germany

You’ve all been waiting for this one, I know. Well, I must report it is not all speed and autobahn excitement. In fact, most of the entirely ridiculous we have encountered thus far relates to driving! Where to begin?

Gary and I have both learned there are very few stretches of road that truly have no speed limit. Sorry to disillusion any of you that thought otherwise. In fact, the Germans have applied their notorious enthusiasm for rules and precision very nicely to speed limit infractions. Gary learned this first when a scowling photo of him arrived by mail to his boss this summer.



Sure enough, his picture was snapped by a camera mounted on an overpass, the shutter triggered by his infraction of two kilometers over the speed limit. Some “cultural” translation for those of you not conversant in the metric system – that is just barely 1 mile per hour over the speed limit. The cost of the fine – 15 Euro. The cost to implement this penalty – probably at least 20 Euro in camera/computer equipment, processing, postage and collection expenses. This is entirely ridiculous!

Because he was so thoughtful in breaking this ground ahead of me, I was not so sheepish as I might have been when I had to warn Gary that a photo of me, equally “happy” at having my portrait taken, would be arriving in his boss’s mailbox soon. (It goes to his boss because I am driving a car leased in Lilly’s name…) This, no doubt, startled portrait of me was snapped as I was getting ready to merge onto the autobahn. Who puts a speed trap at the point of entering a merge lane to the autobahn? Again, ridiculous!

So, you may be wondering – how fast do people drive over here? Well, the answer to that I now know, depends on whether you are driving on your summer or your winter tires. “Winter tires?” you ask. Yep, I hadn’t heard of or thought about winter tires since my childhood in Wisconsin when my dad always hoped he’d get the snow tires on before the first big snowfall. Since the advent of those thoroughly new-fangled things called All-Weather tires, no one buys snow tires any more unless they live in far snowier climes than the Midwest.





So, a short digression…

In their ever-passionate search for more rules and regulations, they have passed a new law requiring snow tires after November 1. In fact, as extra incentive to be sure that you follow the law, your car insurance will not pay a claim for any car accident you have after November 1 if your winter tires are not on the car. Doesn’t matter what the circumstances of the accident are or whether your driving was at fault.

In fact, the Polizei will also determine the accident to be your fault regardless of circumstance if your car is without its winter tires… powerful incentive, to be sure. But, entirely ridiculous when the majority of Germany has winter weather like Indiana. Of course, one would be well advised to put chains on the tires if driving in the mountains but… mandatory winter tires regardless of location? Enough said.

So, back to the question of speed. We had our winter tires put on the cars last week. When my car was returned to me there was a sticker displayed prominently on the dashboard – in German of course. I made a point to learn what it said as it appeared to be a warning of some sort. Yes, one more rule to add to the list. Fortunately, this one is easy to comply with: under NO circumstances am I to drive faster than 210 kilometers per hour on my winter tires. That is 131 miles per hour! In a station wagon, on snowy or icy roads?? Hmmm…..okay, I guess I could slow down, just a little … Ridiculous!







So there’s the answer. How fast do people drive over here? Less than 131 mph, IF it is winter. I’ll let you know come April how fast they drive in the Spring!





Tschuss!

Essential Appliances and the Essentially Worthless!

Essentials in the Kitchen

It is fantastic to be able to report that the house is now “complete.” By that, I mean that all the plumbing is in working order, all of the lights are installed, the light switches all work the way they should, the deck is finished and the gardener has finished his work for the season.

So, you’re asking, what could possibly still be missing? Well, there was one kitchen appliance, essential to German living that was missing from our kitchen. In a turn-around of the stereotypical “Don’t Ever Buy Your Wife a Gift that has a Plug” rule for men, Gary was the lucky recipient of this appliance on his recent birthday – and, he was pleased!

What, you wonder, would a grown man be happy to receive on his birthday that is an appliance for the kitchen? A “PerfectDraft,” of course! “Frisch gezapft fur zuhause!” as promised on the box:

That’s right – perfectly chilled draft beer right in the comfort of your own home. And, a six liter keg stays fresh for up to 30 days so, no, we don’t have to drink like fish to make this a worthwhile investment. No house in Germany, no German-American Mann or Frau who was born and raised in Milwaukee should be without the freshest of beer available at the flick of a wrist... Prost!

On the subject of kitchen appliances, we are learning to work with our dollhouse-sized appliances but, not without some snafus. Gary’s birthday cake was an example of baking with a dollhouse-size oven. The recipe for pumpkin cake called for a 13 x 9” pan. But, our oven is too small for that big a pan. Yes, that is a BIG pan in the context of our oven... (Thank goodness we celebrate Thanksgiving in Door County – there will be no turkeys, roasts or hams cooked in this German kitchen.) So, we went with the option of two 9” round cake pans.

The pan on the top shelf baked just fine. The pan on the middle shelf did not. After taking out the finished pan and moving the second to the top shelf, we thought the problem was solved. After 15 more minutes, it even looked done.

Audrey put the cake together and frosted it and realized that the middle of the second cake was slightly doughy but, we couldn’t do much about it at that point. Slightly doughy turned out to be an understatement. Once sliced, the center revealed a large pocket of raw dough – it looked like a pumpkin "lava cake!"

Ah well… enough of it was baked through for each of us to have the equivalent of a slice and we were saved from consuming more calories in leftover cake!

I won’t bore you with the challenges of a dollhouse-size refrigerator and a 14-year old boy in the house. Suffice it to say that it is a good thing that all the food here is packaged with the dimensions of dollhouse appliances in mind. And, milk is packaged so that it need not be refrigerated until it is opened. So, one can stock up the 1 liter milk cartons in the laundry room to avoid two trips a day to the grocery!

The Essentially Worthless -- but, that is the Point!

Have you ever wondered when on vacation who buys all the tacky souvenirs that seem in endless supply, offered in mind-numbing repetition by booth after booth along sidewalks, outside subway stations or in shops too numerous to count? I have the answer right here for you:

Yep! You guessed it – the Geipels! In a move of self-defense against the shopping proclivities of teenagers (and their mother – I’ll be honest), I decided that the souvenir shopping (our "loot")that accompanies our game of “Where in the World are the Geipels this Weekend?” would be largely limited to the acquisition of souvenirs for our newly-started Tacky Souvenir Collection.

This lets the whole family get involved in weighing the options and making the choice as a family purchase. Which souvenir is offered most prodigiously, best represents the city or country and - most importantly - is most tacky? We are developing this assessment into a science, focusing our attention on those items that cost less than 10 Euro. A stroke of genius, no?!

And, this inexpensive and entertaining new hobby even allows for indulgence. Take our trip to Venice two weeks ago, for instance. You will note both a plastic gondola and an adorable Gondolier piggy bank. One can afford to indulge in more than one souvenir if after the first acquisition an equally or more attractive one is discovered at a better-stocked stand elsewhere in the city (or, the airport at departure)!

A gratuitous travel tip -- while tacky souvenirs are one thing, getting ripped off for touristy experiences is another. We skipped the gondola ride (and its price tag of 150 Euro for a 60 minute ride) and all enjoyed the far less expensive water taxi ride!

And, for anyone wondering -- yes, that really is a pair of dancing, yodeling lederhosen... with a bratwurst remote control.... of course!

Tschuss!

Rockapella!

Because I was feeling nostalgic after writing my last posting and wanted to hear the old theme song myself, I decided to enhance my last posting with a sound track of the music to Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego for the benefit of all. So, I went looking for a snippet of the theme song.


I think what I found deserves its own post - hence today's posting!


I found a youtube video that is worth watching and listening to - even for more than just nostalgia's sake! I had never really thought about the fact that Rockapella - who accompanied the unfolding action in the show - are actually a completely a capella singing group. Yes, that means even the percussion you may remember from their songs...


Check out the "drum solo" from one of the guys in the group on this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuzc4jgwlT8&feature=related


And, just another trivia tidbit: the main singer is from Indy - his dad runs the scoreboard at Colts games and Rockapella performed at a 2007 Symphony on the Prairie!


Now you can all have this catchy tune stuck in your head for the day like I do...

All for now!

Where in the world is the Geipel family?

So, if you’ve been following my blog to this point, you know we have come to Germany and, despite the nearly indescribable headaches of the two months before leaving and the two months after arriving – about a third of which I have droned on about in previous posts – we have stuck it out. We have been highly motivated to do so for one reason…..

Yep! You probably guessed it -- because there are so many places to see and things to do all within reach of an easy and relatively inexpensive train ride. Or, if time is short and train schedules don’t cooperate, Ryanair’s ridiculously low airfares are just cheap enough to warrant the enormous headache of wading through their encyclopedia of rules and fees so that you don’t inadvertently pay 75 euro to check the bag while flying on a 35 euro ticket!

Those of you with kids older than 15 – you know, back when the only shows for kids were on PBS, not Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, etc. -- may remember the show “Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?” This was a fantastic show. Sponge Bob is not even in the same league!

Anyway, we’ve kept our spirits from lagging by looking forward to playing our own version: Where in the World are the Geipels this Weekend? We are even happier when friends are along to play too...

In fact, it was the recent visits from friends – brave enough to come in our first months here – that gave us the opportunity to ignore most of the still-pending house repairs, cable/internet/telephone technical headaches and bureaucratic hoops we must jump for the German government for at least a short while. Thank you, thank you, thank you to our recent visitors!

So, we’ll play this game with you periodically here on these pages… with the primary goal of encouraging all of you to come to Frankfurt and play the game in person with us!!

We’ll start out easy:

In what city (Molly's favorite) is this famous monument located?

How did the Ethan, Kris and their good friends Julie and Rick make their “get-a-way?”

That’s right – on Segways! The City Segway Tour is possibly the absolute most fun way to see Paris - or any city, for that matter! And, it is particularly a good way to see a city when you only have a day and a half to do a whirlwind visit. (You have to be at least 14 for the tour and, Gary and Molly did the tour last spring on a sweet-16 trip to Paris with friends. That’s why its only Ethan and Kris!).

Now, we’ll move onto a little harder round of the game:

Where were Julie and Rick found hiding until they could make a casual get-a-way down the Rhine River?

Yes, in Bacharach. Bacharach was an unexpected stop for us during our Rhine River cruise because the Rhine was at such a low water level that the boat could not leave from the town we had planned to board and, it could not stop at all ports. So, we changed our plans for the day – spending a longer time on the cruise, stopping in Bacharach and spending a longer time “ashore.” When has a draught been such good luck ?! Bacharach is one of the most quaint, well-preserved towns along the Rhine… definitely a “must-see” for future visitors.

Okay, here comes the most difficult round of the game:

Our friends MaryRose and Bob visited over Labor Day weekend. MaryRose is a scholar of Roman Catholic church history. She was enthusiastic about visiting this city, home of one of the oldest universities in Germany, founded in 1457 and taken over by the Jesuits in 1620. The only German cathedral to be completed in the Gothic style is also located here.

If you knew we were in Freiburg, you need to visit soon and take us on some weekend trips!

Those of you who know this game well from hours of watching with your, now teen-aged, kids, will know that there is always some “loot” involved in the global wanderings of the thieves that Carmen is chasing. More on our “loot” coming soon…

Auf Wiedersen!

Will Rogers had it Right about Parades!

The entryway soon to be torn up. Fence or hedge to go

with the gate, yet to be determined!

“Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.”

Will RogersUS humorist & showman (1879 - 1935)

…and I thought on Friday that the parade had finally ended. The parade, that is, of workmen tramping through the house. A regular occurrence that began on August 8 and has continued at least two times a week through this now, last full week in September.

Last week drew to a close with a particularly loud and well-turned out parade: the plumber and his sidekick here to fix the radiators, which now that the nights are getting cold we discovered did not work, the painter/floor guy to finish the winter garden sisal carpet and the electrician to connect the ceiling light wiring to switches so that we might actually turn on the lights (finally installed) that we, as renters, were obligated to buy, per German custom.

And, that was just the indoor parade!

For our neighbors’ endless delight and excitement, the outdoor parade begins at 7:30a on Saturdays! Last Saturday, the centerpiece was a duet of jackhammers at 7:45a. (Thank goodness that Sunday morning is "saved" by the German "quiet" tradition that disallows noise on Sunday - from mowing lawns all the way down to not being allowed to put glass into the community recycle bins at all on Sundays. Glass recycling is a noisy chore because the wine and beer bottles fall about 4 feet into the bins and splinter to bits.. )

Back to the jackhammers. Gary and I have owned four different houses over the course of our 20-year marriage. One was almost 100-years old and another was re-built from the studs up on a 120-year old foundation. Never, not once, in all that time did we ever experience the need to have jackhammer work done in or outside a house. In two short months here, we have had jack hammer “repairs” both inside and out!

The landscaping plans show signs of being quite nice once complete. But, when work is confined to Fridays and Saturdays, I’m not so certain they will beat the snow and bad weather!

About my thought that the parade season was drawing to a close: on Tuesday this week the last visit from IKEA is scheduled. You guessed it – more storage. This time for books and Ethan’s room as he has a less spacious wardrobe. So, once the IKEA folks are done, I really thought we’d be done with the stream of workers through the house.

Alas, yesterday afternoon we discovered the downstairs toilet backing up and draining slowly. This is not a job simply for a plunger. Unfortunately, the slow drain thing has the earmarks of the same trouble we just recovered from. I will not print my thoughts and comments, leaving them instead to your imagination.

Just to complete the analogy, I have to share that it is fitting that our landlord owns a company called “Rent-a-Tent.” I believe he must specialize in circus tents. He is proving a quite adept ringmaster in creating this circus of the last two months.

To keep my spirits up, I am focusing on Thursday when I pick up my "new car" - our official leased vehicle for our time here. It is a BMW customized to the specs I picked out. Okay, it's still a station wagon, not an X4 or a Porsche coupe. But, I've been driving a 7-year old mini-van with 160,000+ miles on it so permit me a little excitement nevertheless!

Now, if only German plumbers had the reputation so well-earned by BMW, Porsche and Mercedes....

We Shopped, We Dropped, and.. IKEA won!

Gary and I celebrated our 20th anniversary this May. I can honestly say in the entire time I have known Gary – now over 20 years – we have never spent as much time shopping together as we have in the past four weeks. In fact, neither of us has done as much shopping in such a concentrated period – either alone or together!

The together part is not the problem. In fact, it was what made it bearable! Gary was my translator, decorator and navigator as - I’m certain - we have looked at every furniture and appliance store in the Frankfurt area.

It is stunning just how many new or replacement items a move like this requires: all electrical appliances such as coffee maker, vacuum, toaster, microwave, washer and dryer for starters. Then, Europeans have never warmed up to the idea of closets – even in a newer house. And, we don’t have a newer house anyway. It’s a “newer” older house, nicely renovated but not to include that new-fangled bedroom closet idea.

So…. wardrobes from IKEA are the answer, of course! Have you ever thought about how much you actually store in closets? Let me tell you, a lot! And, we had a very modestly sized walk-in closet in our bedroom on Pine Street AND we didn’t actually ship all our belongings over here. But, even a regular closet holds more than a wardrobe, trust me! Now that we have invested in wardrobes for five people plus a coat wardrobe in the guest foyer, I may just insist on this approach when we come home – to get our money’s worth out of these, admittedly nice-looking, wardrobes!

Those of you who know IKEA will appreciate the fact that I am married to a saint. Gary spent several Saturdays in IKEA before we arrived sorting out the complexities of the wardrobe designs. For those of you who do not yet know the joys of IKEA, this means identifying a shopping list with each shelf, door, drawer, door handle, etc. for each wardrobe configuration you need. It doesn’t just make your head hurt, it risks making your head actually explode! And, because all stores are closed on Sundays in Germany, you can perhaps imagine the scene on Saturdays in IKEA… Score a point for IKEA – half the population is in their store, spending money.

So, the wardrobe parts were delivered and built for us the first Monday we were here. No wardrobe shopping for me -- that was great! But, it was only the beginning… We also needed some armchairs, a dining room buffet and a TV entertainment center as our living space is bigger than it was on Pine Street and some of our furniture was “retired” with this move and did not take the trip across the ocean. Now, one might think this is not such a big deal and might even be fun – who doesn’t like buying some new furniture and doing a mini-redecorating project?

“Fun!” That’s what I thought too. Until the first Saturday found us utterly exhausted and frustrated at 8:00 pm when the stores close. It seems that every furniture store in the area is in competition with IKEA and their answer to it is to beat them at their own game by being even bigger and more overwhelming. (Yes, it is possible!). And, as we found, the irony is that all the furniture looks the same! We searched store after store for furniture that was a darker wood that might blend with the furniture we did bring. It seemed not to be. All the furniture is what I have come to call “Euro-Scandinavian” style and virtually all of it in light-colored woods. I am confident that any German home furnished in the past decade must look just like every other.

Score another point for IKEA for dictating the home décor business in Germany.

Every Saturday we embraced our search with new optimism… surely that huge furniture store we drove by near the airport will have more variety. Surely all the stores can’t sell the same stuff and still stay in business? Wrong. And, to top it off, there are only two ends to the spectrum – nothing in between. Either you pay very low prices and put the stuff together IKEA-style or you take out a second mortgage and pay three times what you would in the US for good quality, made-to-last furniture. No middle ground.

Another point for IKEA for setting expectations that affordable furniture = bring it home in 16 boxes and make sure you have at least 12 hours available to figure out how to put it all together.

By the fourth Saturday, we were beat. We had managed to accomplish the acquisition of all the necessary appliances. That necessity was forced upon us when the rental furniture and appliances departed so suddenly on the day our furniture arrived – that night in fact, for the coffee maker! J But, a month of shopping and still no furniture. We had toyed with venturing back into IKEA but nothing in heaven or here on earth would get my dear husband back in the store.

What to do? Well, score 10 points for IKEA for having a global website. I could browse online in English on the US site and even make an online shopping list! And, Glory Be!, they had some options in “Schwarz-braun.” Of course, those of you in the know on IKEA also know that only some items are in some of the woods. So, you first find all the options in the wood you like and then start browsing. Otherwise, take it from my experience – you find the piece of furniture you like and it is not offered in a compatible wood with the other piece you like. And so it goes…

But, there is now evidence that I’m starting to feel a bit more settled and confident: I drove to IKEA alone – no husband-navigator and no NAVI in the car -- and, I ordered all the parts and pieces to an entertainment center, dining room buffet, two arm chairs and two rugs. Then, to really impress you – I arranged for it to be delivered and assembled on a day the following week - all done with sign language, pictures, primitve German and some very friendly and helpful clerks! Yeah!!!

Score one point, finally, for Kris! But, IKEA still has 13 points…. And our money!

Ready or Not.... !

Well, more adventures! And, no German lessons yet… the “consultants” in London are arranging a tutor through their local resources.. In the meantime I also signed up for a beginning German class for parents at the kids’ school. It starts the week of Sept 7 but is only once a week. Not that one or two lessons would have helped me with my first "solo encounter" without my husband-translator:

On Thursday, I was leaving the house with the kids to drive them to school (they take the bus home) at 7:45a and a man shows up in the driveway with papers speaking in German. The only word I can understand, because it is the same in English and German, is “container.” He is a big burly guy and I figured out – a truck driver. He has papers instructing him to deliver our sea container full of furniture to our address.

Well, this was supposed to be scheduled for about 5 days after arriving in port so that the rental furniture company could schedule removal of the rental furniture, dishes, linens, etc. and so we would be prepared for the whole thing. Nope! I walked up to the corner and sure enough, there was his truck with the huge cargo sea container on it! Our street is way too narrow for the truck.

Gary was already at the airport for a business trip to Berlin. I desperately tried to reach the moving “consultant” who is in London but he was on “annual holiday” until Sept 7. Then, I tried to reach the few people I know here who speak both English and German to see if they could at least learn more info from the guy so I could figure out what to do. I could reach NO ONE and the guy was getting exasperated and the kids were already late for school.

So, I had to call Gary. Luckily, he wasn’t already on the plane or I think he would have lost his mind not being able to get off. He was still in the gate area. In fact, he had just bought breakfast -- a beautiful croissant and a latte from "Perfect Day Cafe." I'm not making that up!

He spoke with the driver on the phone and turns out, the driver spoke only basic German (he was Polish – as are a lot of the workers here – all the handymen that have come to work on the house are also Polish). The driver informed Gary that "no, you can't refuse the delivery, I have no where to take the container." So… long story short – we got our furniture. Gary left the airport gate and scrapped his trip. Here is the "Perfect Day" latte that travelled back to the house with him and fueled a good part of the day as lunch was long-forgotten:

Just for added excitement and activity for the day, the rental furniture company was able to pull a crew off another job to come get the stuff so there was room for our real furniture. Now we have our work cut out for us unpacking! And, we picked up the last of the lights yesterday so hopefully this week someone can install them and we can SEE at night! It’s like we’ve been living in the stone age… go to bed when it gets dark (thank goodness its not winter when it gets dark at 5p!!!)

Hopefully, by the time our first of two sets of visitors in Septmeber (yeah!) arrive, the dust will be settled… oh, and, of course, during all this, they are still pouring cement in the house and making a general racket fixing Ethan’s floor! His bedroom furniture is sitting outside his room making it very difficult to get around down there with boxes, furniture, etc. The floor guy told me yesterday that he will come Monday or Tuesday to lay the hardwood back down. I’ll believe it when I see it!

Plumbing - German Style!

We are having an adventure a day it seems! Today a big load (and I mean BIG) load of dirt was dumped on our driveway at 7:30a just as Gary was leaving with the kids to school. The gardeners are here to finish up the patio/garden work. Apparently they need a LOT of dirt to do the job!!

On Sunday, we started having our toilets back up. There are three in the main part of the house and when one backed up, the next toilet to flush also backed up. We called the landlord but of course, nothing happens on Sunday so he said he’d get a plumber to come out on Monday. In the mean time, we had planned to spend the day learning the trains and exploring Frankfurt. That’s what we did and had a great time – beautiful sunny weather. Actually, it has been in the 70s and sunny since we arrived – occasional rain shower in the afternoon. Very un-German weather according to Gary.

Anyway, Monday was spent with the plumbers here all day . The main guy speaks pretty well in English so he was keeping me updated. By the end of the day, we had four plumbers here – two “specialists” who they called in with special equipment. They had a camera on the end of a plumbing snake and a separate piece of equipment with a 10” screen (in color!) that showed what the camera was “seeing.” Sort of like endoscopy for sewers!

What they found was at the juncture where the three toilets and the showers drain, there is a root growing into the pipe. That they could take care of with their equipment except that there was also a ROCK lodged in the tree roots INSIDE the pipe! Go figure. On theory is it was the previous tenets who were sabotaging for some reason and another theory is it is actually hardened plaster and grout that workers doing the remodeling poured down the toilet to dispose of and it hardened when it got clumped around the tree root.

So, anyway, guess what? The pipe goes down from the main floor to the lower floor and runs under Ethan’s floor. The only way to get to the pipe to repair it is to tear up Ethan’s floor. So, this morning the hardwood floor guy arrived to tear up the wood floor. I imagine that underneath is concrete block – the house is a renovated old house and the walls are about 10” thick so I imagine the floor is equally “sturdy!” This is definitely a time we are VERY glad we are renters and not home owners!!!

So for at least a week we are using the creepy bathroom in the cellar. Not too nice or convenient – especially in the middle of the night. It’s like those Girl Scout camping days when you lay in your sleeping bag in the middle of the night asking yourself just how badly you have to go because you don’t want to have to walk to the outhouse!!

Fortunately, we can still use the shower because “just water” can still go down the drain – although it goes quite slowly. At least we all don’t stink on top of everything else!

But, it all made for a loud day at the house today -- the gardeners finished spreading dirt and started in with chain saws to take down some trees out front (one being the tree with the errant roots!). At the same time, the floor guy finished taking up the hardwoods and began with the jackhammer to break through the concrete flooring. He's got the door to the room sealed with plastic (thankfully, or the whole house would be covered with concrete dust) so I cannot see his progress but, he's been at it for literally the last 5 hours...

Okay, now here's some pictures of the results of two days and 10 hours of "surgical" jackhammering...

Selling a House the "Re-lo" Way.. Or, The Buyers From "You-Know-Where!"

First, let me say we feel quite fortunate to have received and accepted an offer on our home within two weeks of listing it...

But, the day before leaving, we received the buyers' response to the inspection. Mind you, they are already literally stealing the house with respect to price. Then, the requested a list of things that included cleaning the gutters and other maintenance items (we clean the gutters every spring and fall so they had been cleaned about 3 months prior and the fall leaf season is about to begin - a gratuitous request if ever there was one - the inspector mentioned nothing in the report about the gutters). All of the items on their list were either extremely minor repairs or maintenance items. Technically we could refuse them all and if the buyers backed out, we would get their earnest money because the purchase contract indicates specifically, in capital letters, that the buyers may only back out of the purchase if inspection results identify a MAJOR DEFECT that the sellers refuse to rectify.

So, that was our stance and by the end of the day, the realtor and the relocation consultants took the negotiations into their own hands. Of course, the fact we were leaving on a boat and going to be out of contact also helped with that! What we later heard was that they ended up relenting on a few items and giving them $500 for the rest. Wimps! These buyers clearly know the relocation drill well and have pushed and pushed, knowing that the relo company desperately does not want the house in their inventory. At least the concessions will not come out of our proceeds because they conceded to stuff that really wasn't required.

Just an example of the buyers' attitude and persistence: At their expense, they brought in three additional contractors to look at our tile shower floor. The inspector had indicated a "crack" which in reality was a place in the grout that needed some caulking or re-grout - I could see this and, as it turned out, all three contractors they brought in told them the same thing. They just wouldn't believe one or two contractors! And, the contractors were definitely being honest as they were losing work by indicating it was a simple problem they didn't need to "fix!"

After the cat was found (see The Cat's Story post), you can well imagine that our realtor was apoplectic about the sale! And, she was stuck with getting bids, ordering new cabinets and coordinating the repair. When we could finally talk, after arriving in Hamburg, I was able to tell her the company that had done the kitchen cabinets in the first place. She arranged a binding estimate and thankfully, the style and wood of the cabinets could still be ordered.

So, the buyers went ahead with the closing yesterday even though the cabinet won't be delivered and installed for about three weeks. The realtor made a comment about not even being sure who technically owned the house when this happened - us or the re-lo company (they "buy" the house even when its been sold prior to the closing so that the closing is between re-lo company and the buyer).

No one has said a word to us yet about the expense of the repair - not to approve it or how it will be paid. They have set in motion the wiring of house proceeds, loss-protection proceeds and the early sale bonus money. So, perhaps the re-lo company is just going to pay the cost - we're not asking! We'll just wait and see!

In the meantime, despite going ahead with the purchase in spite of the damage, the buyers then got the realtor totally paranoid about scrapping the deal over two 8" square mirrors that were hanging in the 1/2 bathroom. I packed the mirrors (they were bought at Marshalls for about $9 a piece 4 years ago and were not the "official" bathroom sink mirror) but that left the bathroom with no mirror - apparently they are within their rights to expect a mirror in every bathroom so the realtor is frantically trying to reach us about this issue... she ended up going out to buy mirrors.

By that time, I would have told the buyers to fly a kite. Give them $20 a closing and tell them to go buy a mirror they like! Ah well.... there's clearly mostly only good in the end of doing things "the re-lo way!"

Our old neighbors report that as of today, no one has yet moved into the house... perhaps they are phantom buyers from you-know-where?!

The Cat's Story or, How She Came to Have Just Eight Lives!

So, the next story involves the cat. In the end, it was best we were out of contact so we only lost 24 hours to being worried sick rather than six days of our eight day cruise. Our cat is quite timid and skittish about strangers and strange places so I decided to leave her in our empty house and have a friend look in on her and feed her there until the Pet Consultants picked her up for transport to the airport. The woman looking in on her is an animal lover with two dogs and several cats of her own and, she works at least several days a week at a no-kill cat shelter as a volunteer. She knows her cats!

Well, because of the cleaning crew and then an endless stream of contractors entering the house (that's a whole other story - the home buyers from you-know-where!), the cat disappeared. The natural assumption was that she slipped out the door and ran off.

Shelley spent DAYS and NIGHTS looking for the cat - an ad in the Zionsville Times, posters around the neighborhood and knocking at all of the neighbors doors. She set food on the porch and came and sat silently on the porch until past midnight every night, hoping Izzy would come home. She crawled under all the neighbors bushes and porches. They left the garage door open hoping she would find shelter there.

It was on day Five that we were in port in Southampton and Gary's phone got cell service. He decided to call the consultant because we hadn't gotten an e-mail update on the pick up of the cat and they have been innundating us with updates all along. Sure enough, they give him the report of Izzy's disappearance. We were very upset, not only because she was missing and we knew, as an indoor, de-clawed cat, she had little chance of survival outside for more than a few hours, but because having her move with us was a big part of feeling "at home" during our stay in Germany.

Despite the thorough search of the house that Shelley had done several times, I was still perplexed about where the cat might have gone - she has never tried to sneak out of an open door because she is so timid. But, I thought, perhaps if she was really desperate with no furniture to hide in or under, perhaps she did.

A wide variety of friends and others wound up involved in the Great Izzy Search! Gary had called his brother, Barry, to help with a search as well as our friends from our old neighborhood. Unbeknownst to us at the time, the microchip company had contacted a friend of mine in Indy who I had put down on the form. And, the cleaning company (who they thought might be "responsible" for letting her slip out) and the realtor are also involved.

On Day Six of Izzy's disappearance, Shelley and her daughter, Anastasia (Molly's good friend) went over to our house to move the food, litter box and water into the garage as a final effort. They had given up on searching the house any further - they had opened every cabinet, closet and drawer days ago.

Just as Anastasia was moving the litter box from the kitchen to the garage, she heard a meow.. just one meow. They figured out that the cat had somehow gotten up on the highest top of the cabinets and crawled into a 3 - 4" wide opening between the wall and the cabinet top and then fallen down between the wall and the side of the oven - behind the cabinet "filler" that was installed between the edge of the cabinet (which the wall oven was in) and the wall because the cabinet was not quite as wide as the space available. The cat was missing from Friday afternoon until Wednesday evening - six days with no water or food and minimal space to move! Here's my brother-in-law's account of the experience:

The whole things was kinda scary. When Patrick and I got there, Anastasia was in tears, Shelley was desperate to find a way into the cabinets and Izzy was making nasty hissing sounds. I tried to assess how to get in and though I could get in by breaking the panel under the drawer under the stove, but that just revealed a solid piece of MDF between us and Izzy. I then tried to pry the panel between the stove and the wall, but that would not budge. At that point, I called the fire department, but they refused to help.

I got more medieval with the side panel and realized that the molding piece was in the way - I got that off which revealed that the floor molding was in the way - I pulled that off and then was able to pry off the side panel with my claw hammer. Izzy was in the very back at that point and I could not reach her as the space was only 3" wide. Sherrie and Anastasia both tried but could not reach back. I then took the metal drawer slide that I had pried out earlier was able to pull Izzy to the front where Shelley was then able to grab her. Shelley and Anastasia where off to the vet with Izzy in a flash.

I am afraid I did some pretty serious damage to the kitchen. Your cabinets and moulding were clearly top notch and very well constructed.

So, the vet pronounced her (after expensive x-ray and blood work to check kidneys) perfectly healthy expect for being dehydrated. She put her on an IV for 24 hours and now the only telltale sign of the drama is her shaved leg where the IV was, of which only a vague remnent of the shaved fur is still visible in her picture above!

"The Only Way to Cross" -- if time allows!

Well, we're here! With a few days under our belts, we are starting to feel a bit more at home with each day although the house is still an echo chamber with the few pieces of rental furniture - exactly one seat on a couch for each of us and no more! The bedroom furniture looks quite literally like doll furniture! But, IKEA was here today and set up all the wardrobes. That would never have worked if we were trying to build them! And, we now have room to put away the air freight stuff which arrived the same day.




The cruise from NYC to Hamburg was, as hoped, a fantastic and relaxing time. The “enforced” nature of the relaxation, being ship-bound, made it a vacation unlike anything we’ve ever done. With the kids old enough to explore the ship and decide what to do on their own, it was even more so. Eight days was about as long as I’d go, because there is a point of too much of a good thing.

The first few days were spent getting used to the idea that the only decisions of the day were which deck faced the sun and had available deck chairs for reading (or napping!), what time to meet for meals and whether we wanted to attend concert/show or ball that evening! Compared to the usual daily pace and the more recent daily pace, it actually was a bit disorienting. Nevertheless, we managed to adapt!! I will say, though, that I wouldn’t want to do every vacation that way but it was just what we needed this time. And, we arrived with no jet lag as we moved the clock forward just one hour each night and never set an alarm clock.


Apparently, the rule of thumb for cruises is to expect to gain one pound per day of cruise. The food was quite good but, it was served from a menu not a buffet and in a nod to the health-conscious, there was a trio of “Canyon Ranch Spa” selections at every meal in the dining room – most of which were quite tempting and good. So, I think we escaped without gaining 8 lbs each, thankfully!

The clear highlight of the “entertainment” was a historian/lecturer who gave a talk each morning on the history of ocean liner travel. He is about 80 and a Scotsman with an American mother and thus now an American living in Manhattan. He has turned a passion into quite a lifestyle/good living. He wrote a book about 25 years ago called “The Only Way to Cross” and about 20 years ago pitched the idea to a cruise line that their passengers might enjoy talks on the subject. His second, retirement career was born – he now cruises various transatlantic crossings with his wife for about 3 months a year (for free) and gets paid to do it! He is an excellent speaker for the audience – mixes anecdotes, humor with factual info. He had been involved in community theater as a hobby and clearly has a “stage presence.” In any case, all five of us thoroughly enjoyed his talks.